How God Works In My Life

The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for Him and seek Him.

Lamentations 3:25

I woke up on Sunday morning with a great nudging to hit my knees in prayer.  I headed to my closet and knelt down and began praying for the usual things and then I experienced the interceding of the Holy Spirit.  I always know it’s God when I begin praying for things I have never prayed for before or if I pray in a way that I have never thought.  For the rest of the day I felt a deep aching for God.  It was a feeling I have never experienced before.  I just couldn’t get enough of Him all day.  Every chance I got I was reading my bible or working on a study.  I remember thinking to myself that I wish I didn’t have to be mom that day, that I just wanted to go off by myself and be alone with God for a long time.

Looking back on that day I know that God was keeping me close to him because He knew that satan was on the prowl.  I began texting my close friend, and accountability partner.  What I thought was a happy text about how much I loved God and that He stole my heart that day, turned into me doubting my faith and I started to cry.  I had no idea that was coming and I could easily blame it on hormones but I believe it was something else. 

Not once all day did I feel worried or shame of any kind but in that moment doubt crept in.  Up until this moment I had felt confident in the relationship I had with God.  We had spent many hours together and He had been teaching me and guiding me in so many ways.  I completely trusted Him and I never doubted that He would help me in any situation.  I knew how much He loved me and I felt so close to Him all morning.  Somehow satan still had a little room to sneak into my thoughts.  He tried convincing me that my faith wasn’t as strong as I thought.  He even went to the extreme in telling me that I shouldn’t be writing this blog or counseling and encouraging my friends because my faith hadn’t really been tested.  

God knew this was coming which is why he gave me that aching in my heart to cling to Him all day!  He also gave me an amazing accountability partner who reminded me that, yes indeed, I had been tested in my past and that trials come in God’s timing and they come in different shapes and forms.  She also reminded me that all of our trials are different but no less real or unworthy.  To say the least, I clung to God the rest of the day.  I sat quietly with Him and I read His word until I fell asleep that night.  

On Monday morning God revealed to me exactly what I needed to hear.  I am telling you this because so often when I need something He is so faithful to answer through devotions, a close friend, His word, or something I experience.  On this particular morning God gave me a devotion from a book that spoke of Job, who in the chapters leading up, was being criticized by his friends and he had been questioning God for all the problems in His life.  

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: 

“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words?  Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.  Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?  Tell me, if you know so much.  Do you know how its foundations were determined and who did the surveying? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” (Job 39:1-7)  Well, the list goes on for 3 and half more chapters and it is just beautiful, and amazing and wow!.  I challenge you to sit down and read it today!! (Job 38-42) 

Then Job replied to the Lord: 

“I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.  You ask, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’  It is I.  And I was talking abut things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me.  You said, ‘Listen and I will speak!  I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’  I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.  I take back everything I said, and I sit in the dust and ashes to show my repentance.” (Job 42 :1-5)

After reading this I was reminded at how amazing our God truly is.  I felt horrible for ever doubting Him.  You see I was doubting my life, who I was and where I was.  God told me in this moment to shut up and stop thinking that I knew better.  He was telling me that I would never be able to understand Him or His ways but that I just needed to believe in Him.  I realized that in my moment of letting satan into my thoughts I tried to downplay all the wonderful things God had taught me, I considered believing the lies that told me I wasn’t wise enough, that I couldn’t possibly help others, that God couldn’t really use me.  And for a whole night I clung to my God!  I waited on Him and I searched for His answers.  By the next morning He was wonderfully good to me! (Lamentations 3:25)  Amen and Amen!!