Right with God

"If we claim we have no sin; we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth." 

1 John 1:8

I have a serious struggle that I've battled most of my life. Some might call it 'perfectionism.' Others may call it 'having it all together.' I've even termed it 'extremely organized.'  But, recently I've come to realize that God calls it pride.  It's not the cocky, arrogant pride that most people think of upon hearing the word. It's not the pride that belittles others or looks down upon the next guy. It's the pride that beats me up from within. The pride that tells me I'm not enough, or I can and should be better. It's a subtle pride that the outside world can't see and often values. It's the pride that won't allow myself to be wrong.

Lately, I've drawn closer to God, and he's shown himself so greatly! In response I feel the tug of the Spirit to make changes as my heart desires to be more and more Godly. But therein lies the problem as well. In my pride, I try to make the changes; I try to be righteous. And when I fail or when I'm confused, the feelings of 'unrighteous' overwhelm me. In the last weeks several of my daily devotional readings have been on righteousness. So, instantly I began to feel I was failing before him. However, I believe that after much prayer and soul searching God is telling me that I have a false understanding of righteousness, and He wants to change it!

I work so hard to be sinless- you know, to be 'right'. To make right choices. To do the right thing. To not make mistakes. But this week Rich Warren's quote, "We cannot be sinless, but we can sin less." struck a nerve with me. I realized that I'm working to be sinless and when I'm not, I feel failure. Immediately I began flipping through my journal and rereading the recent scriptures on righteousness and holiness; I was asking God to clarify my understanding. Here are a few

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all this things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6

"I, the Lord, am your God. You must be holy because I am holy." Leviticus 11: 44

By the time I was through searching and praying, God had told me these things about righteousness and holiness:

1. He alone is holy.

2. I'm already righteous (in right standing with God) because Jesus died for me, and I believe in him! It's that simple.

3. In time, I too become more and more right with God. It's a process in which I reap the benefits of His righteousness by simply continuing to walk right beside him. The focus is on his righteousness not mine!

4. Righteousness isn't about standing right (correct) before God. It's about standing right with him. You know, abiding in him. Staying close and letting him lead! It's about being right with him (closeness) and not right with him (without sin).

5. I'm human. I will mess up- sometimes frequently. That doesn't change my right-standing with God. It's simply opportunity to change. I'm being harder on myself than he ever will be.

Dear Lord,
Forgive me for putting the focus on myself and taking my eyes off of you. Forgive me for thinking I can and should do this on my own. You alone are righteous and holy. Thank you for letting me reap the benefits of your greatness as we walk this faith journey together. Amen