How Do We Rebuild A Relationship?

                     So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. 

Philippians 1:9-11

Relationships are not easy. They require work, focus, continual effort, and daily fresh starts. So what do we do when we find ourselves in a relationship that we don't know how to repair? The above verse is our guide. Paul knew that once Christ begins working in us that we will learn of his love and as we grow in our knowledge of Christ and his love, our secondary relationships will reap the benefits. But we must use our God-given intelligence in monitoring our actions. 

As I ponder this verse, I'm asking for wisdom, "Lord, How do we rebuild?"

First of all, Christ must be our foundation. As our foundation, every decision, action, and word is based on him. We must watch and learn from the example of Christ. 

Second, we must choose. Love is not a feeling; it is a choice, an action, a decision.

         Choose to keep quiet. (yes, that one's especially for me!)

         Choose to see the best in the other person, just as Christ does in us. 

         Choose to say, "I'm sorry" as often as necessary.

         Choose to forgive and offer grace.

         Choose to dismiss an offense and replace it with grace.

Third, we must continually surrender ourselves to the Lord's will and not force our own. 

Tonight I find my heart heavy for the mistakes I've made: I'm sorry and ready to start over. It will not be easy because I may be the only one ready to change, but I must! If Christ is to live in and through me, change is not optional. I do, however know that I can do all things through Christ's strength. So, here I go… I choose to rebuild no matter what the cost.

Dear Lord,

We all have relationships that are hurting. Give us the wisdom and strength to rebuild following your example. Your love is free, unconditional, life-giving, and full of grace. Teach us, Dear Jesus, to love like you!

Amen and Amen