Rebuke One Another In Love

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1

Ok, you see a brother or sister in Christ participating in sin. You hear a statement that is errant and misleading to other Christians who heard it. You are now caught in the age old dilemma... should I talk to them or should I just ignore it.  You know that we all get stuck on this verse from time to time. Our rationale goes like this... “If I tell them what I know about God’s law, they will think I’m judging them. And if I judge them then I’m sinning. I’m not perfect so, how can I confront them in their sin when I myself have such great issues? I’ll just look like a hypocrite.” Scripture even says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

Yet at the same time, God calls us to confront misunderstandings and sin in fellow believers. The following verses tell us that as Christians we are to hold each other accountable by using God’s word to rebuke and correct misunderstandings and sin.

All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  2 Timothy 3:16

I give you this charge; Preach the word: be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage- with great patience and careful instruction.  2 Timothy 4:2

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you, rebuke the wise and they will love you.  Proverbs 9:8

These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you. Titus 2:15

These verses get tricky, but we must look at them as a whole and not in isolation. In isolation they appear to contradict one another. God would not say that he breathed his Word for rebuke and correcting if he didn't want us to use it in such a manner. I believe that when another person calls themselves a Christian they have given their life to Christ, and I cannot and should not judge their heart and determine in my own mind their degree of rightness with God. Yet, at the same time I can and should inspect the fruit of their life. God gives us very clear directives for Christian living evidenced in his Son's life. Sin is clearly spelled out in scripture, so when we see what is contrary to Christ's life we must address it. 
The Ten Commandments are very clear.  1 John 4:20 Tells us that if someone hates a brother or sister than they do not have the love of God in them. 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:22-25 give specific behaviors that should be evidenced in Christian husbands and wives. Scripture is full of examples of both good and bad fruit. 

Notice the Proverbs 9:8 verse, if the person does not receive the rebuke in love, then their heart condition is even further exposed. Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoever hates correction is stupid."  This person will not receive the rebuke because their heart is not for the Lord. If their heart is truly for the Lord, they will be open to hearing loving rebuke if they are in sin. 

Here is the part that I think is often overlooked. If I am taking the stand to address others in their sin and misunderstandings, then I better be willing to hear my own sins pointed out! I must also build a relationship with the other person so that when we discuss sin, we can speak freely and honestly and they will know my heart is for their betterment and not their demise. It is the state of the heart on both sides of the discussion that determine the outcome of the confrontation. When we are part of a church, a bible study, a small group, a family, or any other meeting of Christians we put ourselves in the position to be rebuked and are called to hold the other members accountable. Failure to confront face to face is not love. Jesus said, “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” Revelation 3:19 

I posted a few days ago that one of my GFF's (God First Friends) corrected me for errant thinking. It was beautiful! Why? Because I know she loves me. She's never hidden her own sin, and she loves me enough to show me mine because my heart is deceitful above all things (Hebrews 10:2), and I am often blind to my own sin. It was the heart of the relationship that allowed her rebuke to change my heart and mind. God used her as a tool to set me back on the path of righteousness.

So, the question is, do you want to be really loved and to love others? If so, put yourself in a position to be honest about your own sin. Allow your life to be transparent. Accept others correction in love. And the reverse is true then also. Confront in love. Don’t ignore sin because you will be held accountable for not rebuking a brother or sister, but always do it prayerfully, lead by example, and then let God convict their heart. Ask God to keep your heart humble so that you too will accept rebuke and correction from a brother or sister.