Forgiveness Is Not Acquitting

Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent - both are detestable to God.

Proverbs 19:19

So often we think that forgiving someone is forgetting the hurt they caused us.  Society has us to believe that forgiving means we have to forget all that happened and accept the person back into our lives and forgetting or even overlooking the hurt that took place.  Without writing for hours I want to explain just this little part of forgiveness, a part that goes a long way in freeing someone to forgive.  I believe so often that aside from not accepting forgiveness in our own lives and seeing our own sin, the thought of wiping away the hurt that someone caused us, and forgetting it didn't happen, makes our willingness to forgive almost non-existent.  Friends, I want you to know that forgiveness is more for you, realizing your own sin and need for forgiveness should lead to seeing that same need in the sinner's eyes.  You should only forgive because you are forgiven and you are a christian seeking to be Christ-like in all you do.  We should forgive as God forgives and that means no strings attached, but it also means there are still consequences for the sinner that hurt you.  David still lost his son after he repented of his sin, murdering Uriah (2 Samuel 12:14).  There will still be human consequences to sin and it may just be that consequence is not being friends with the person who hurt you, leaving the boyfriend who hit you, divorcing the husband who had an affair.  (Only God can tell you what to do in these situations.  Seek his Word and the help of a professional to know what is best in your specific situation.)  Even if these people are repentant you still don't have to jump into mending your relationship.  Especially if it is toxic and unhealthy for you or others involved.  We will all run into people or friends, in our lives who hurt us and lie to us or put us down and it is our choice whether that friendship continues or if it needs a break.  Forgiving isn't pretending the offense didn't happen.  Like in the verse above......acquitting is freeing someone of the criminal charge and with that you free them from the consequences of their actions.  If you free someone who is guilty they will never learn from their wrong and they will have a much harder time changing and turning away from their sin.  When we overlook someone's sin against us then the person will never be held accountable for his or her actions and will not be given the choice to change.  Only when they are confronted will they need to make a choice.  Letting the guilty off without punishment is as harmful as punishing an innocent person!  God detests both equally.  We must check our motives first!  If we are after revenge then our hearts aren't ready and we must spend time with God offering up our pain and hurt.  Revenge is different than natural consequence.  Revenge is sin and God says to let Him be the final judge and let Him get revenge (Romans 12:19).  But if we truly can say we love the person who hurt us and we want what is best for him, if we care about his salvation, then we must be willing to allow consequences and set new boundaries.  All can be used to redirect the sinner from his sinful choices and help him to get back to God.  

Friends, this isn't an easy topic.  There are so many situations that make forgiving hard but we want to help you understand it and apply it in your life.  There is so much more to know and learn about forgiveness.  If you are interested in the whole study please email us at godfirstfriends@gmail.com and we will be glad to send it to you.