Making Tough Decisions

God, investigate my life; 

get all the facts firsthand.

I'm an open book to you;

even from a distance, you know 

what I'm thinking.

You know when I leave and when 

I get back;

I'm never out of your sight.

You know everything I'm going to say

before I start the first sentence. 

I look behind me and you're there,

then up ahead and you're there too-

your reassuring presence,

coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful-

I can't take it all in!

Psalm 139:1-7 

I'm currently going through a process.  I'm weighing out some facts and making big decisions that will have an impact on my future and the future of others.  I am having difficulty knowing God's plan for my life........taking a break from one good thing to pursue another.  How do we ever know exactly what God is asking of us?  As I have questions for myself, it is clear that my heart is torn, not between good and bad.....light and darkness, but between two good things that will have lasting impact on other people.  As I attempt to say goodbye to one good season of my life I fall into feelings of guilt (which by the way has absolutely no scriptural basis and comes straight from the devil himself) and I start to question whether I am doing the right thing.  What is it that God really wants from me?  Will I make Him mad if I change directions to pursue a dream He has laid on my heart by letting go of another dream that He laid on my heart years earlier?  I can never know, for sure what God is thinking or what His plan is.  I can never fully understand the way He works and the reason behind changing seasons and changing hearts.  I just know that I have a God of patience and second chances.  I have a God who knows my every move before I make it.  He knows the words that will come out of my mouth before I say them.  He knows where I am and what I'm thinking before I do.  God cannot be surprised by my decisions.  He can't be disappointed by what I choose because nothing catches Him off guard.  My God knows every move I will make and so He has planned accordingly.   Obviously there are consequences waiting for me when I make the wrong choice......... when I choose to go against His character and will for my life.  Some will be hard to take and others will gently redirect my life.  But the key is not making the right or wrong choice, the key to God's love and will for us is that He gives us a choice.  He gives us a brain and reasoning skills to make choices that will benefit us and His Kingdom.  When we are walking closely with Him and trying to make do the right thing, whether we choose A or B, may not always matter.  God has a plan for the choices we make, and if we love Him, he promises to make good come from our mistakes and mess-ups.  There is always something for us to learn and ways for us to grow.  Nothing is waisted!  God can use it all if we are willing to let Him.  

Dear God, help me to trust this love you have for me.  I want to believe that you will not be disappointed in my choices as I try to follow your will for me.  When I make mistakes show me the way to fix it, when I get off course, show me the way back to you.  Lord, I want nothing more than to live with you, and for you, the rest of my days on earth.  As I make choices with this brain you gave me know that my heart is seeking the right things and my mind is fixed on doing your will.  Amen