I'm Making a List and Checking it Twice

I'm a list keeper. I keep lists on my phone of things to shop for, things to do, and issues to pray over. Lists help me keep focused and accomplish those things I must do. I love sticky notes in all variety of colors, shapes and sizes. And at the end of the day I can find my desk spattered with a beautiful array of these little lists of things to remember.

I keep mental lists as well. Lists of things I've done right. Lists of things I've done wrong. Lists of missed opportunities and opportunities met. Oh, the lists I keep!

But these lists cause me pain and confusion. Like Santa, I go over my list and check it twice. And three times... four times... over and over...

                                              

And then these lists determine my attitude and my degree of love and acceptance from God and others. When I go over the naughty list, I'm a failure and feel disqualified from God's love. I am heartbroken by my own decisions and fear rejection from God because I've sinned just too many times. I hate being on the naughty list. 

Yet when all is going well (my kids are happy and peaceful, my husband adores me, and the to do list is done) my "Nice list" of behaviors makes me feel favor with God and that I've earned his love once again.

Oh the danger of keeping lists! The truth is, God's love does not ebb and flow like the ocean tides. His love is constant. He is never disappointed in us. He loves us when we are naught and when we are nice. He loves us when we meet opportunities and when we back away in fear.  

     God's love never changes! 

Paul's words to the Romans in Chapter 8 verses 38-39 assures us of an unfailing, unconditional, undeserved and unearned love from our Father...

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to depart us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God is not like Santa. He doesn't keep lists and neither should we! His love is sufficient for today. No looking back and no fear of the future. 

GFF, you are love!. Plain and simple. Say it aloud, "I am loved!"

Dear Lord,

I struggle so with list keeping. I do not want to live this way any longer. Help me to live in the freedom of knowing your love is relentless and I can never earn or destroy your love for me. Amen