Sometimes Love Says "No"

Sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone is to say no.  As I am in the middle of dealing with a certain situation I am forced to find the difference between helping and enabling.  As a Christian I struggle finding a balance, and at times I feel like saying no is mean, or as if I am not being helpful or caring.  After all, aren't Christians supposed to be loving and show unconditional support to people?  How do I show love to someone who is displaying irresponsible behavior?  Do I enable him to continue that behavior or interrupt the natural consequences to that behavior?  When is it okay to let someone reap what he sows?  As I asked myself this question, and I felt a nagging in my heart over a situation I was dealing with, I knew I would only be satisfied with what God had to say about this subject.  There is something about God's word that brings peace and closure to an idea that takes over your every thought until you just can't think about it for one more moment.  God is faithful to give wisdom when we seek Him! 

"For we are each responsible for our own conduct."

Galatians 6:5

God is not afraid to tell us that we are to be responsible for our own conduct and for the consequences that come from that.  In the same way it is okay for us to allow the natural consequences of someone's actions to take place.  So in allowing someone to experience the hardship that comes with the consequence we are actually loving that person.  If we continuously try to protect them we are really hurting them by encouraging the bad behavior to continue.

"No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it is painful!  But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained this way."

Hebrews 12:11

In fact, it is possible that we are in direct conflict of God's laws if we protect people from their consequences.  Taking away consequences takes away what God was using for their best interest.  We shouldn't try to make someone comfortable with his or her irresponsible behavior or he or she will never be motivated to change.  God wants change in us all of His children and He pursues them until they listen to Him.  Sometimes people shut their ears to hear his voice and it may take something "big" to grab their attention.  If they are protected from that "big" thing they my never understand that their actions are directly related to the things happening in their life.  They may never feel a need to change.

"........you will always reap what you sow!  Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death.

Galatians 6:6-7

As Christians we are to love unconditionally and show people the way to a life lived with a personal relationship with Christ.  We are to express Jesus' love to everyone we meet and encourage right living.  If there is someone in your life that you have been trying to help but he or she is just not learning, and you feel as if you are being taken advantage of, maybe it is time to reevaluate your circumstance and ask God if your helping is actually hurting.   Ask Him to show you how to love so as to encourage positive change in your that person.  Don't do anything with bitterness in your heart, and don't condemn them for not changing.  Just change the way you are helping and see what happens.