Washed Clean

I have done some really dumb things in my past.  I have made decisions that hurt myself and others.  I have compromised my faith to "fit in" and I have allowed the voice of the world to be my guide.  All of these things I am not proud of but they are over and done.  I can't go back and change them.  A few are easily forgotten, especially the things that others can relate to which gives me company in my repentance.  But for the "big" things that I hid, and the actions that were forbidden in the eyes of so many around me, those I kept to myself, and for the longest time didn't even know how to ask for forgiveness.  I always knew what the bible said about forgiveness, but accepting that was hard for me to do.  I beat myself up over things and would never allow myself to forget what I did or forgive myself for doing it.  I allowed satan's lies to torment me and push me further in a pit of shame.  I was trapped in a place I didn't want to be in, and I was the only one with the key to get out............yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds! 

"No", Peter protested, "you will never wash my feet!"  

Jesus replied, "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me."

John 13: 

Looking back I see that I waisted so much time living in chains because I didn't understand God's amazing love and mercy in my life.  I didn't know that my forgiveness was just a humble wash away.  You see, so many times I would take my repentance to Jesus' feet, promising with each trip that I was leaving it there for good, but I never stayed long enough to let Jesus into those dark places to wash me clean and set my mind free.  I had kept it inside for so long that no-one, not even Jesus could enter without my acceptance.  All along Jesus was just waiting.......itching to wash my feet, to make me whole again but I refused Him.  I thought I wasn't good enough, or that what I did was unforgivable.  I wanted to be forgiven but deep down I didn't think I deserved forgiveness.  I believed the lies that said Jesus didn't have time for me, and that He was so disgusted with my choices that it would take a long time before He would want to forgive me.  I let the fear of people knowing what I did keep me paralyzed from enjoying the freedom in Jesus' selfless death on the cross. 

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

Ephesians 1:4

Friends, God knew I would mess up.  He knew before I was born that I would make poor choices, hang with the wrong crowd, have sex before I was married, yell at my children, gossip, use foul language, get drunk, and the list could go on.  Knowing all of this, He still chose me!  God knew all along that I would fall away from Him in college and do things that can't be undone, but still because of Jesus, I am faultless in His eyes!!  How could I ever for one moment want to hang on to a past that Jesus suffered so much for me to be free from?  God chose me, knowing all of this, and I can still be used by Him!  He has plans that only I can be used for!  He has dreams where I play the lead role!  No matter what my past I am forgiven and loved.  No matter what your past holds......YOU are forgiven and loved so much!!!  Won't you go to Him, barefoot and broken, and accept His washing of your innermost hurt and shame?  Let Him all the way in and once and for all accept that you are pure and beautiful on His eyes!