Change Your Own Life

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

1 Peter 3:1-4

I can remember when I first made a real effort to dig into God's word.  I knew I needed to be closer to God so I started a bible study with a friend.  The study was on marriage and I was sure that mine could use some improvement.  My husband and I got along great but I believed he had some areas that could stand to be changed and I just knew that this study would show me how to "fix" him.  (yes that sounds really bad coming out now and at the time, not understanding a lot about life, I really believed it to be true)  So we got started on this study and soon I was put in my place.  Instead of changing my husband, I realized the problem and solution lied within me.  I found out many things through that study and most importantly it was the first time I ever really grasped the idea of changing myself and worrying about my actions (you could say I was a bit prideful, maybe my own god?).  It humbled me and showed me that in all circumstances it really boils down to my actions and myself.  I should never get too caught up in how anyone else is behaving or acting but focus on my behavior and how I can act to represent God.  I was the one who changed through that study and I still use many of the tools I learned from it.  

Friends, this scripture above changed my marriage because I stopped focusing on my husbands faults and looked inward at my own wrongdoings.  I was able to give up my pride and see that if I wanted my marriage to work and be a happy one then it was my duty to live the way God wanted me too.  I had to find myself and understand who God wanted me to be, His daughter, a mother and wife in Christ.  I had to begin a relationship with God to better learn who I was so I could start changing the way I lived so that my husband could see that change.  I couldn't continue living the way I had, if I wanted something to change then it had everything to do with my change of life and nothing to do with changing my husband.  Am I perfect now?  Absolutely not!  Do I fall back into old habits?  Unfortunately yes.  Am I as much concerned about my husband faults and trying to fix him?  No, because it is only my life that I can control and change and fix.  God just wants us all to know Him personally and as we get to know Him our behavior will change and begin to follow after the pattern of Jesus Christ.  I am constantly working with God to change me.  I trust this scripture that states when I change my behavior and start living a Godly life then my husband will follow.  I don't have to be a nagging, dripping faucet.....I don't have to speak a word about his life and the changes I expect to see from him.  My focus is taken off of him and put on myself......the only person I can and ever will be in charge of changing.