I have been recovering from a period of depression and emotional issues. It's been a long journey, but even as I heal, the Lord is faithful to meet me at my point of need. He has never left my side or failed to counsel me. This month marks the anniversary of an emotional breakdown that happened last year. It caused me to go through the scariest time of my life. I feared I had failed God and that he no longer had need for me. I believe that the enemy fought to have my life emotionally, spiritually and physically.
I was put on medication that has helped stabilize my moods and allowed me to gain emotional, physical, and spiritual footing. Part of my health problem was that for years, and I do mean years, I was unable to sleep through the night. My mind ran non-stop, waking me at 2 or 3 every morning and not allowing me to go back to sleep. I was literally drained. The medicine has helped immensely, but it has a downfall. This medicine makes it so difficult to wake up in the morning that by the time I'm awake life around me has begun. What that means is that meeting with God during a quiet time is nearly impossible. And I miss Him so much!
Today, however, God woke me at 6:16 am. Wide awake. Mind clear. Alert and ready to sit with him. As I sat in the living room my simple prayer was, "Speak to my heart, Lord. What do I need to know for this day?" And through my devotional he spoke saying, "I will instruct you and teach you int he way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." Psalm 32:8
So I sat quietly before proceeding with the devotion- waiting for him to lead. The next verse lead me to pray for his guidance, "Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." Psalm 119:35
In a quiet whisper within my spirit I heard him tell me to take a meal to a friend who is overwhelmed today. "Ok, I agreed."
And so I continued on in my devotion. This verse leading me to the next message from my Lord, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." Psalm 143:8 I sat and waited. I prayed, "Ok, God show me your unfailing love. Show me that no matter what, you love me and let my heart know that I haven't strayed to far. That this past year is truly behind me because your unfailing love will lead me on."
As I prayed I caught a glimpse of the sunrise. A glimpse that had I sat 2 inches to the left or right on my couch I would have missed. The sun came up over the trees miles beyond. It began subtly and then in a moment it was so bright that I couldn't even look at it any longer. It was beautiful! All at once I realized that God was giving me his reminder of his unfailing love.
You see, the weather changes. The seasons change. My daily plans and activities change. The world and situations around me are in constant change both good and bad. But no matter what, the sun rises and falls every single day. Just like God's love. It is there to greet me every morning and kisses my face good night each night.
Our God is faithful. What he has said he will do. His love endures forever. Praise be to our God. Amen
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